Bother
by Psyc0gurl0
Summary: This is a oneshot about Emma. Then eventually our fave bad boy comes into it. not Sean only M cause of swearing, I'm a bad BAD swearer. Emma goes to see a therapist before a big event. Full summary inside. It's good I swear! and different!


**Title:** Bother

**Author:** Psyc0gurl0

**Summary:** A little one-shot here. Emma talks to a therapst before a big event. She lets got of all her...drama.

**Disclamier:** none are mine just get it threw your heads, I don't even LIVE in Canada!

**Authors note:** So I know there are journals to do this type of thing but I just thought I should write this anyway. So my mind is weird, it thinks in a way you read a book. Like for example: She was so skinny she could fit threw the doorway easily. That kind of thing. So I just got back from Syracuse for my cousin's bat mitzvah (a party for jews, to put it shortly) The whole time she ignored me, and usually I wouldn't mind because she was doing so much, BUT we are so incredibly close, and it pissed me off to an extreme that I stole some stuff from her. (Which was stupid, I know) So I decided to vent my frustration in a one-shot, since all my stories are happy sappy crap. (But not really, because I really like my stories) So, when I was laying on the floor to go to sleep Saturday night all that was going threw my head was "Does this bother you? Does this bother you?" and I kept telling myself 'no,' it didn't but in reality, it did. Badly. So I owe this little idea to my cousin, who has many layers, and will remain to have many layers. I don't know what to do with you, cuz. So this story is dedicated to my selfish, bitter, angelic cousin. Who I love dearly (cause she's my cousin) but sometimes I really truly hate.

**Bother**

"Does it bother you?"

I looked at her wondering what she was talking about. "Does what bother me?" I asked glancing at the clock.

1 hour to go.

"The room? We can change if you want? Your fiancé wanted to change."

She was tall with stick straight brown hair and brown eyes, she bothered me already and I had just sat down. She looked familiar too, which probably added to the bothering factor.

"No." I answered lying threw my teeth. "No, it doesn't bother me."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded, the room was fine, and I was fine, nothing in the room bothered me, so I wish she would just fucking shut up. I was 23 years old and getting married in less then a week, why was I in this little office, with a total stranger?

"Your fiancé is worried about you."

I sighed looking around the walls again. 55 minutes left, the clock read to me. I had only been here 5 minutes? God what was I going to do for 55 minutes? Talk to her? Yeah, right. "Well I'm doing this for him." I muttered.

We had decided to see a therapist before the wedding so we could go into marriage with a clear head, or whatever. We wanted to leave the craziness of high school and college behind and start over, a clean slate, and to do that, apparently we needed to see a therapist. I had already had enough of therapy during my eating disorder years.

"So, Emma, tell me why you are here?"

"Well, my future husband wants us to go into this marriage with a clean slate, we agreed on it, so we wouldn't have so much drama, like when we were dating."

"Are you happy with him?"

I looked at her face, she was pretty, like a super model. How sad. She probably tried to be one once, then she decided she was smart and to become a therapist and mock them with her pretty face. Bitch.

When he came out of here he looked happy, he said she was nice and good. Maybe he was implying that he did her. Sometimes I worried that he didn't want to get married, just wanted to screw around with different girls and leave me out in the cold. I tried to tell myself that he wouldn't do that, he loves me, we loved each other. But that voice, that I heard when Sean left, and when I stopped eating came to me, saying he was cheating on me. I tired not to believe it, but sometimes I wasn't sure. I loved him so much, and I was sure that he had stopped hooking up with girls once we started going out, in high school and college.

"Yeah. I am." I whispered looking at her.

"Does it bother you that he gave you an STD?" She asked sympathetically.

I sat back in my chair, picking at the thread coming out of my shirt. "Not anymore, I love him."

"Really? Let's start from the beginning, Emma, how did you and Jay meet?"

I smiled faintly at the memory. "Well, my step-dad had cancer and my brother was just born, I was dating a guy named Sean, he was the 'bad boy'. Sean started hanging out with Jay's crowd, end of relationship." I said finally looking up from my thread.

"That was how you met?"

"Yes, didn't Jay tell you?"

"No, he just talked mostly about the stress of the wedding, and your first sexual encounter."

I smirked, "sounds like Jay."

"What happened after you and Sean split up?"

"Sean, became worse, but Jay was the worst. Jay tormented me through most of that year and the next. He called my things like Nature Girl, Cause Girl, Greenpeace."

"Does he still call you that?"

"Sometimes, but more affectionately. He rarely calls me Emma."

"Does that bother you?"

I shook my head. "No, it's like a pet name."

"So, you enjoy it?"

"Pretty much, when he calls me Emma, he's serious, I don't like it when he's serious."

She looked at me surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah." I didn't add that he calls me Emma when we're in bed together, she didn't need to know that.

"So he tormented you?"

"Yeah, but then he moved on to this guy named Rick."

"Who's Rick?"

"A guy that brought a gun to school and almost shot me." I said it so dully I saw pure surprise in her eyes, I had caught her off guard. Good.

"Really? Did this change you in anyway?"

I tried not to roll my eyes. Of course it changed me! "Yes."

"How?"

"I went to Jay." I said shortly trying to pull the thread out, I didn't like talking about me and Jay as teens.

"And what happened with Jay?"

"We went to the Ravine, and we ended up doing stuff in a van."

"Is that how you got the STD?"

I nodded.

"How much did it bother you when you found out?"

"A lot, I didn't talk to him for a whole year." Why did she need to know this stuff? Was she talking notes on my STDs or something? Did she ask everyone this shit?

"Then what happened?"

"Sean came back."

"Sean left?"

"After the shooting, him and Jay were still friends."

"At the time did Sean know about the whole STD thing?"

"No, I didn't tell him."

"Were you dating anyone?"

"A guy named Peter."

"Did it bother you that Sean came back?"

"No, I liked Sean, still do."

"You still talk to him?"

"Him and Jay are close."

"Still?"

"Still."

We were quiet for a few minutes. The silence annoyed me, the questions annoyed me and she annoyed me.

"So Sean came back and you were dating Peter..."

"Sean still liked me, and Peter found out about us."

"What happened?"

"I kissed him, and I told Peter, he hid pot in Sean's locker."

"Where was Jay?"

"Jay is a year older then me, he didn't go to Degrassi at the time."

"What did he do?"

"He worked at a restaurant and an auto repair place, Sean worked with him when he wasn't at school."

"So what happened to you and Peter?"

"We broke up, I got with Sean."

"Sounds simple."

"It wasn't at the time, Sean was in Jail."

"For hitting someone with a car, right?"

"Jay?"

"Yeah."

I looked down at the thread wrapped around my index finger, then at the clock. 45 minutes left, I had to start talking slower.

"What happened after you got back with Sean?"

"Well, we broke up, obviously."

"What happened?"

"He found out about Jay and me."

"About the STD thing?"

"No."

"About what?"

"About all the times."

"What times?"

"Well, the first time I went to the Ravine, Jay gave me a STD. When I was dating Peter between 12th and 11th grade, I went to the Ravine sometimes. After graduation and I went to college, I would meet Jay at the Ravine. Without the Ravine me and Jay wouldn't be getting married."

"The Ravine sounds important to you."

"Sure is."

We had went to the Ravine the night before, just for old times sake. When we were looking for places to have the wedding I even considered the Ravine, Ellie talked me out of it.

"So when did Sean find out?"

"When I was in college. He found me and Jay having sex on my bed."

"Were you still dating?"

"No, after we graduated we broke up, then once he found us, he laughed for about an hour. Then we told him the story of us getting together."

"Why did he find it so funny?"

"He knew all along."

"Really?"

"Yeah, that's why we broke up. He saw our 'looks' to each other."

"Do you think it bothered him at all?"

"No, he was dating my friend."

"Who's that?"

"Ellie Nash, they got back together, sorta."

"Why sorta?"

"She was dating an older guy, when she heard Sean came back."

"What did she do with the guy?"

"She was cheating on him with Sean, who had no idea, then Sean came into the newspaper one day."

"Yes?"

"And saw the guy, they ended up getting in a huge fight."

"Wow."

"Sean gets in a lot of fights. He and Jay got in a fight over the STD thing."

"He sounds like a sad young man."

"He can be, but he's a great guy."

"Are they together now?"

"Who?"

"Sean and Ellie?"

"We aren't sure. Ellie is my Maid of Honor and Sean is Jay's best man. We aren't sure what's going to happen."

"Are you nervous?"

"A little, but I love Jay so what should I be nervous over."

"Well, your 23."

"I think I've loved Jay since I met him, I was just too infatuated with Sean."

"Sean sounds like a big part of your life."

"He was, he brought me to Jay. He was my first boyfriend."

"You sound like you've had many boyfriends."

What in god's name was she implying? Was I a slut or something? Puh-leze! I'm not a slut, she probably is. I was a slut for, like, 5 minutes, then I came back to the world. "Sean, Chris, Peter, Jay. Not too many."

"Is that all?"

"A few others, they were just the big ones, well, maybe not Chris. But Peter yeah, he helped me get over my disorder. Kinda."

"Why kinda?"

"Well, it wasn't really Peter, just everyone gave the credit to Peter, it was really Jay."

"How did Jay help?"

"He just did."

"Do you think it bothered him, when he saw you with the disorder?"

"Probably, Jay is bothered by stuff that hurts me. It sometimes gets annoying."

"He just cares."

"Sometimes I don't think so."

"Why do you say that?"

"I love Jay don't get me wrong, but sometimes I think he's cheating on me."

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, he cheated on his other girlfriend with me."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"What was her name?"

"Alex. She's a lesbian."

"A lesbian?"

"Yes, with this really popular girl who went to my school, named Paige."

"Oh."

"Yeah, they're coming to the wedding."

Silence took over again and I oddly felt more comfortable. Maybe she wasn't so bad, or more possible I really love Jay for dragging me here and letting me express all my pent up frustrations. I know he wants me to be ok, I can feel it, but sometimes I'm not.

I know that its been 5 years since Degrassi, and the eating disorder and the shooting, just to name a few things. But sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night freaked out, that the last 5 years had been a dream and that I was still as depressed as ever, no friends, no boyfriends, no one. Sometimes it bothers me that so much drama happened at Degrassi and I never really had a 'good' high school career. And sometimes it bothers me that Jay comes home drunk or high in the middle of the night. Actually that bothered me a lot, I often felt that it was my fault.

So a lot of things bothered me, that was why I couldn't sleep at night, sometimes. I just blamed it on the wedding jitters, but I knew Jay knew I was bothered by other things. I was ready to marry him without a doubt, but I don't think he knew that. I loved Jay with all my heart, but I just couldn't let go of all the bullshit drama that happened to me in Degrassi, as much as I tried to do for him, I just couldn't.

So that is why I ended up here, spilling my guts to a total stranger, just to make my fiancé happy, and let all the drama go. I was ready to not be bothered by anymore drama. Really I was. I looked up at the clock as she watched me.

Wow, 20 minutes to go, time flies when you hate people.

"Why can't you sleep at night Emma?"

"The wedding."

"No, I mean, for real? What bothers you?"

I paused thinking about the question. " I think I'm permenently damaged from all the drama that went on at Degrassi."

"What do you mean?"

"Well my school was so dramatic, and I know that it might sound stupid to someone who never went to Degrassi, but so much happened to me in 4 years, sometimes it causes me to have bad dreams. I know Jay worries, and I should let everything go, but I can't."

"Have you talked to anyone else about it?"

"Not really."

"Maybe you're just holding all the feelings in."

"Probably."

"So the drama gets to you? Is that all?"

I nodded lying again, "pretty much." saying all that I felt out loud sounded stupid. But it was all about the drama, that's the whole thing that fucked up my life, in my opinion.

A little drama for a person is healthy a lot damages you to an extreme, just look at me.

"Well, we have 10 minutes left, Emma, what would you like to talk about?"

I looked at her, wondering what else I could possibly say to her. "I love Jay." I blurted out. "And we will live very happily together. Drama will not be in my life, anymore."

She looked at me with raised eyebrows and wrote something down. "Here, this a prescription for sleeping pills, true them for a week."

I smiled weakly at her and took the paper. "Thank you."

5 minutes left.

This wasn't so bad I guess, maybe I was overacting for nothing, therapy isn't so bad I guess.

"Does it bother you?" she quietly asked me.

"Does what bother me?"

"That I saw your fiancé at the Ravine last night?" she asked face blank but underneath the forced blankness I saw a hint of amusement. I told you she was a slut, and a bitch.

I stared at her wondering what to say, truth, lie, or hit. "No, it doesn't bother me, and that's the truth, because the girl you saw him with, was me. That's why he said no to you."

I smirked at her getting up out of my seat and headed towards the door, feeling confident. I wasn't bothered by the fact that there was so much drama, I was bothered by the fact that Jay might be cheating on me.

After seeing her though, I knew that he wouldn't cheat on me. He was Jay, but he was **my** Jay, no one could touch him. And yeah, it helped a lot that he said no and we talked it threw that night. We would be fine, no drama. I hoped.

(A/n: That is the end of my lil one-shot. Hope you enjoyed! I hope it wasn't TOO confusing)


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